found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
