Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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