i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
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