if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
