We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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