so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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