But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
