Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
...so i touched it.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
