Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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