he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
