i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Do vagina's smell?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize