I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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