I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize