ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
