i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
