You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We are two peas in an std pod
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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