Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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