ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
