woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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