I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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