Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
