she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
