It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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