he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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