I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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