Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
