absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
