when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
pray to the hookup gods
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
