HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
