the new term for farting is butt boxing.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
