she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
