i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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