I'm going to jail i love you
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize