out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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