I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
