So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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