I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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