Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
