Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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