I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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