At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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