Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
