You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
