the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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