I think scott just propositioned me for sex
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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