Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
