thus making me awesome and them whores
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
