I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
