my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
