we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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