Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
