Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
