We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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