you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
