on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
