I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
