Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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