bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
