it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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