too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
