i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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