Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
