five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Blood and glitter go together right?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
