how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
