I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
