i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
