dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
