So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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